Stop trying to make Calathea happen. It’s not going to happen.
Let’s all take a moment of silence for the latest calathea you brought home with such hope in your heart… and found shriveled into a crispy relic of its former self two weeks later. You misted it. You spoke to it. You gave it filtered water collected under a full moon, and still—“my favorite thing to do is die,” whispered the calathea, as it dropped another leaf and gaslit you into thinking it was your fault.
Thanks to Reddit sage new_butterfly223, we can now confirm: calatheas know what they’re doing. They are dramatic. They are beautiful. And they are the most high-maintenance plant roommates you could ever invite into your home.
Somehow, despite all this, every grocery store and Baumarkt in the country seems to have Calatheas for days—just sitting there like botanical sirens, luring you into yet another heartbreak.
We all start out the same: enchanted by those gorgeous patterned leaves, ready to become a calathea parent. But soon you’re googling “why is my calathea sad” at 2am, surrounded by a graveyard of humidity trays and emotionally shattered fiddle leaf figs who are just happy someone else is the problem child now.
Sound familiar? If you’re stressed about keeping your Calathea alive, you’re definitely not alone. These plants belong to the Marantaceae family (including Maranta and Stromanthe) and are notorious for being picky about light, water, and humidity levels.
Signs Your Calathea Is Plotting Something
- Brown edges? Emotional manipulation.
- Curling leaves? Passive-aggressively asking for a raise in humidity.
- Yellowing? They read your aura and didn’t like it.
- Flourishing? Just kidding, it’s storing energy for a dramatic decline.
Let’s be honest: we still love them. But sometimes, self-care means realizing calatheas are the plant version of a toxic situationship, and you deserve better.
If you're brave enough to keep trying (respect!), we’ve got some tips that might actually help. Check out our Calathea care guide for advice on humidity, light, and keeping the drama to a minimum.
Bonus tip: Calatheas are pet friendly! So if you’ve got curious cats or mischievous dogs, they’re in the clear. Aglaonemas, on the other hand—while much easier to keep alive—are unfortunately toxic to pets. Because of course the calm, low-maintenance one has a dark side.
So... Instead of That One Calathea That Keeps Dying, Try This Aglaonema Instead:
If you're ready to stop stressing over your Calathea and want a low-maintenance plant with a similar look, there’s hope. We’ve got some stunning Aglaonema varieties that offer bold foliage without the constant drama. Here’s your go-to guide for some easier alternatives to Calathea.
Because Aglaonemas are the loyal best friend who texts back, doesn’t flake, and thrives even when you forget to water them for a week. Here are some perfect swaps:

Calathea Drama Queen | Chill Aglaonema Alternative |
---|---|
Calathea Orbifolia | Aglaonema ‘Silver Bay’ – same silvery elegance, none of the weekly meltdowns. |
Calathea Medallion | Aglaonema ‘Pictum Tricolor’ – still flashy, but won’t demand filtered rainforest mist. |
Calathea Beauty Star | Aglaonema ‘Pink Stripe’ – vibrant and unique, but emotionally balanced. |
Calathea White Fusion | Aglaonema ‘Creta’ – variegation? Check. Attitude? Absolutely not. |
Calathea Makoyana | Aglaonema ‘Stripes’ – same narrow leaves, but far less likely to give up on life. |
Final Thoughts
To all the plant lovers out there mourning yet another lost calathea: you are not alone. They’re basically botanical performance artists, and you were just part of the show.
So if you’re tired of googling “how to fix my dying Calathea,” it might be time to simplify your plant life. Whether you want to stick it out or switch to a lower-stress alternative, we’ve got you covered with plants that won’t break your heart—or your spirit.
Ready for a plant that actually wants to live, maybe it’s time to break up with Calathea and swipe right on Aglaonema. No judgment—we’ve all been there.
And if you do insist on trying “just one more calathea,” we’ll be here, misting and commiserating with you, one crispy leaf at a time.
Want a plant that won't ghost you? Check out our Aglaonema collection and finally feel appreciated.